Marriage is the oldest and most traditional social institution of mankind. Adam and Eve could hardly feel the necessity of marriage, but as the world grows, civilization had taught mankind to form institutions keeping various factors on the board.

We can simply treat marriage as the seed of a desired bonding between a guy and a girl, and becomes fruitful only when it is watered properly, it leaves it’s far reaching fragrance to the society.

Its like a diamond ring, you need to wipe out every dust to make it more glittering.

The flowery dream communicated by various media, the unbearable tension of today’s life style, the restless minds of today’s young stars at times get divulged and some people treat marriage just a game of fun, where divorce comes even faster than changing the color of the shirt. We can still treat them as exception as a result of contorted facts manufactured from the fertile brain of a gamut of people of a particular segment.

We must apprehend impediments in maintaining a holistic relationship of a marriage, but it is surely a wonderful bonding, that teaches the young minds to share both joy and pain for life.

When you dream of marriage, your subdued mind might become unconscious and when you get married, you become conscious.

It is said, the intellect becomes fruitful only when the spirit of the nature meshes with the materialistic world. Similarly a successful marriage deserves the real mesh of two souls and bodies. The imagination of a dream girl or dream boy may bend with reality, still the relationship continues, so as the world. People, who believes in immortality of soul, they find marriage also as an immortal relationship. The crux is people often try to find accomplishments of all beautiful dreams in marriage, which never becomes realistic just like the youthful romanticism hardly find its 100% success in the hard reality.

Still the social bonding of marriage encompass love and feeling for the counterpart, may be even as a result of compulsion.

In the worst possible case, It may be compared with a cage, where birds have been forced to live together in spite of their likings and disliking, who despair to get out, but hardly can. Even if marriage in an edifice, we need to rework and rebuild perhaps every night.

In marriage nobody can deny the impact of the sexual relationship, which makes the bonding stronger. Post marriage sexual life makes your life disciplined, arises the fellow feeling and it lets you float in the pleasure of satisfaction.

A systematic sexual life is always desirable for your body and mind. Love, the harbinger of hope, converts sex from a mere physical exercise to true pleasure.

It is not necessary that a man needs to be deaf and the woman needs to be blind to continue a successful married life! We believe that it is the instinct, which makes a married life successful and makes the guy and girl more passionate towards the other!

Kiss is a common phenomena of human behaviour as a way of expressing love with passion. Off course in our country it is a hotly debated topic specially when it is taken a first step towards sexual enjoyment by the teenagers. Kiss when it is on the forehead is taken blessings from elders when it is given on the hand it is a mark of respect and when on cheek it is a form of affection shown.

But when we talk about the kiss on lips it is taken as a deep passion giving meaning of the love with brain and body.

Recently, the US President Bill Clinton came in news when his personal life was exposed and the kiss was one of the debated component and thereafter George Bush, US President elect during his election campaign exhibited the act of kissing his wife passionately in public making it open that its not a sin when accepted by the social norms.

Dr. Hobert of West Germany preferred this concept for doing research on it he observed this phenomena at length and conducted many experiments the outcome of his research came with some fascinating and starling results Dr. Hobert explained as to what happens in kissing, as the lips of two persons of opposite sex touch, the first and foremost reaction is in the brain.

The sensation and nerves of the tongue act as an active reporter of kiss and convey it through the third branch of the fifth nerve to the brain.

The brain transmits it to the spinal cord on to the nervous system throughout the body. It spreads with the speed of electricity. As this sensation is being conveyed other communication through the nerves are blocked when the pelvic nerves get the news the secretion of adrenal in the pancreas increases leading to the simulation of the sex glands.

The above process has a direct effect on the heart as the adrenaline hormone enters the blood stream causing an increase in the heart rate and blood pressure and the result is that the whole body is shaken and the heart rate may be as high as one hundred and fifty beats per minute against the normal of around seventy. In order to keep the harmony with the heart the lungs activity also increases and the respiratory rate goes upon sixty per minute against normal of twenty five per minute at this stage the persons start panting and feel exhausted and finally as a result of this activity the blood pressure of the persons in action rises to 180 against the normal of 120.

The above research work done by Dr. Hobert was further enhanced by Prof. Clayesorce and Prof. Climbeez who took ECG of the concerned persons in such conditions and as per their findings they maintained that the fat on heart muscles starts dissolving and it is because of this that some Physicians advise heart patients to go in for kissing spree while other doctors refrain from giving such advises and call this act as dangerous for the heart patients.

It has also been observed in some cases that when the lips strike there is an exchange of millions of micro organisms and according to Dr. Hobert syphilis, diphtheria, leprosy, tuberculosis, jaundice and small pox etc. can be caused if one of the two persons involved in the process of kissing is suffering from it.

During last few years lot of research work has been done to find out the causes of spreading HIV resulting in the incurable disease of AIDS. In most of the cases the experiments ruled out kissing as a cause of transmitting HIV because the blood contact is necessary for it. But in some cases it has been observed that there may be some internal micro-injuries in the mouth cavity and since there is a lot of exchange of saliva in the process of kissing the remote chances of transmission of HIV are there in case a person is suffering from it.

Sometime back there was an epidemic of flu throughout the world and health authorities publicly requested the people to refrain from the act of kissing from some time because there was every likelihood that it may spread in the vide range of society.

A very interesting revelation came out of the research on kissing when it was discovered that it can lead to lengthening of the back bone. Some researchers gave the shock by emphasizing with authenticity that a single kiss can diminish the life span by about thirty seconds.

Now the alarming threat is for the young people in the age group of 17 to 25 years because the researchers say that kissing can also result in kiss disease called Mononucleosis the reasons for this findings are not known may be it is based on surveys.

In today’s world there is commercialisation of every thing and kissing has also not been left which is evident from various unusual kissing competitions specially in London where it has been organised for the students of Boolwitch Polytechnic School. Number of student boys and girls participated in kissing competition. When David and his girl friend Jany set a record of continuously kissing for one hour and thirty five minutes. However later on this record was broken in Munich when a couple kissed continuously for one hour and forty five minutes.

The kissing competitions became so famous that after London and Germany the students of Texas College in USA set a record of kissing continuously for nine hours and twelve minutes. Its not the end the students of Eastern College of Washington broke this record by kissing at a stretch of twelve hours.

The Guinness Book of World Records recorded the score of kissing by a couple continuously for nineteen hours and twelve minutes but after recognition of this event by the Guinness Book a number of kissing competitions were organised world over lastly the Super Push Corporation, Israel, a branch of the international consumer products company, Colgate-Palmolive, New York, USA, organized a kissing competition in Tel Aviv’s main sqare, Rabin Square, to see which couple could kiss for the longest time. The previous record, set in New York in 1998, stood at 29 hours.

On 5th April, 1999 the Israeli Couple Dror Orpaz and Karmit Tzubera managed to keep kissing (while standing up) for a record 30 hours 45 minutes without stopping for any rest breaks of any kind – not even to sit down.

They started the competition with 106 other couples but were the only ones remaining for the last 12 hours of their marathon session.

Once they had completed their embrace they were both taken to hospital and treated for exhaustion. Well we are fortunate that our country is not in this race. May be because it is considered as a criminal offense under our law to have such acts in public.

I am sure that my young friends in their teens will keep the above biological facts in their mind while expressing their passion of love by means of kissing.

Author: Prof. Dewakar Goel
General Manager(P&A)
Email- dewakargoel14@gmail.com

Date of retirement is decided soon after one joins the service.  Normally it used to be 58 years which has been increased to 60 years and now government plan is to make it 62. Well if we go for various management institutes and even for the justices still it is 65 years. If we look at global scenario the retirement age goes upto 70 years.

A question comes as to whether we really retire or it is just breaking of relationship with the present employer.

As a matter of fact the important factor is our health and physical fitness which makes us to think for retirement. If you ask yourself “Do you really want to retire?” I think the answer will come in most of the cases as negative. Sometimes, the surroundings make you to feel for retirement. The retirement notice 3 months before the  date makes you alert for filling up necessary forms, completing formalities to take your terminal benefits etc.

The months than the days are counted by you when you are nearing the date of retirement. At times you may feel a certain change in the behaviour of the people around you. In the government service if  you are required to appraise their performance by way of annual confidential reports  your  status and respect is uplifted by the people who are concerned about  it.

You also become conscious about your authority of making career of the people at the fag end of your service. Earlier during the service period, you never noticed certain change of behaviour and level of respect but now it has come as an open secrete. The subordinates who had no guts to ask for good reports now, feel comfortable in taking the liberty of asking this favour sometime as a matter of right.

The family front seems to be quite well prepared to meet this natural event, specially your spouse.

Let me tell you it is only your spouse who can have the real concept of empathy, because he or she has to live with you for the rest of the life, with constraints or otherwise.

I am not trying to make you bias for or against your children but you need to accept the fact that there is a change in their priorities, if your son is married having kids he will feel more concerned about his own family, may be living with you. Well if you have only one son he will be interested only about your terminal benefits or pension so as to feel relaxed that your retirement is not going to give any extra financial burden on him.

You will observe that suddenly you are feeling concern about the talks of the people and you are trying to find meanings between the lines.

If somebody has said “Oh you are going to live with your son after retirement” this will become quite offensive because it reflects your dependency on the son. You expect from the people that they still maintain that your son is going to live with you.  There is a great difference in the matter of feeling for these two concepts as to whether your son is living with you or you are living with your son. 

You become quite emotional for certain issues which were not so meaningful earlier.

When I talked about the planning for retirement you may question that I started this article that you never retire than why I should plan for retirement? Believe me it is not only the career which is to be planned but your planning is for the change which may revolve like a wheel moving across the axis with different aspects of life. When you are thinking to plan the process of retirement it involves emotional, psychological, financial, health, time management, spiritual, reviving hobbies, and in some extreme cases even for matrimony, when you are widower or widow with no issues. I am not joking certain cases are there which have been reported when a person married after the death of his wife to a widow who happened to be his girlfriend when he was young. It really came in his life as a feeling of fulfillment of long cherished desire which was somewhere composed in the latent mind. The children of this man were settled abroad and he thought it proper to take their consent which came quite readily. It is just for your psychological and emotional balance.

A person who is financially sound may feel like having a new life well it is just an example which happened somewhere in the world therefore, you have every right to disagree and to have different opinion.

Retirement no doubt is a major event in one’s life cycle and I feel that organization is also having a major responsibility to facilitate this transition from one stage to another.  You have every right to live successfully in dignified manner even without having a job. It gives you more freedom to take decision for your personal likes and dislikes.

When I talk about a beginning of a career my idea is for fulfillment of your desires which were left behind, your hobbies which you could not practice as a profession.

Take the example of Winston Churchill whose entire contribution giving him name and fame came after the age of 65, look at Sardar Patel and Jawahar Lal Nehru what they did after 60, Morarji Desai got the chance to become prime minister of India when he was over 80 years of age. Age can not be a barrier.

You don’t become old merely by age, its all in the mind. You are as young as before provided you are keeping  very good health. There are countries in the world like Switzerland, Singapore, Australia, Canada etc. where the care is taken for your old age by way of offering social security schemes. But in our country we need to have a planning. For that matter you must take the help of a financial consultant so that inspite of having a job in hand you don’t loose a regular source of income.

Let us take the planning for retirement in different phases like a cycle. Let me start with the first phase as Remote Phase which begins many years prior to actual retirement date. Nobody expect to die before reaching retirement age and a very few will be there who expect to keep working till they die. The financial security and the leisure skills are two important factors which are visualized in the Remote Phase.

The second phase can be identified as Near Phase which occurs just prior to the date of retirement. Here one begins to perceive that his colleagues view him or her in short term perspective. His involvement in major programmes is discouraged and at times he may be asked to provide training to his replacement as a matter of double banking. You find yourself in the second phase busy in the passage of retirement ceremonies and farewell etc.
Now, comes the Honeymoon Stage as third phase of the cycle because after retirement you get the freedom to live out fantasies, your finances will permit in traveling, meeting old friends, seeing grandchildren and so on, and if somebody ask you how the retirement is going on your reply will be “why I have never been so busy”.

An idea comes to my mind for this phase in the form that you presume as if your gratuity is only one lac instead of 3.5 lacs because you have purchased a holiday package for different countries of the world alongwith your spouse. Don’t disclose this plan of spending 2.5 lacs on holiday package to your wife otherwise it will never materialized, her answer will be, “have you gone mad on attaining the age of sixty by burning money?, return the tickets, I am not going with you.” Well, I am preparing you to face this situation well in advance. Tell your wife that these tickets are not refundable as per terms and conditions of the travel agent. A little piece of advice, have the passport of your wife during first phase of the cycle rest assured you will have a gala second honeymoon in different countries of the world and will have an experience you will cherish till you die.

Not everyone goes through the fourth phase of the retirement cycle. It is a stage when life finally slows down. The honeymoon is over and a certain amount of dissatisfaction sets in life. It becomes boring, those who have not developed a variety of skills in preparing for retirement are likely to experience this stage more severely. It may be particularly difficult if one has moved to a different community after retirement.

Now comes the fifth phase of the cycle, which may be termed as Reorientation Phase where one may attempt to structure a life style that can run for many years. It comes by way of exploring new opportunities, making realistic choices in the light of personal interest and skills.

Now we have come to the sixth phase of the cycle which is known as Stability Stage, when a person develops a philosophy and pattern of decision making resulting in a reasonably busy, predictable and satisfying life mastering retirement role. In this phase one is able to cope and adapt to declines in physical capability that comes with advancing age. He or she feels self sufficient. 

Lastly, we come to the seventh phase of the cycle which is a Termination Phase.

One may of course, die suddenly while experiencing any of the preceding sixth phases of the retirement cycle. If the life continues, one could enter to Termination Phase. A few unlucky land up to a stage because of non-planning as dependent upon others, which may loose the dignity associated with the role of retirement. Please  for  God’s  sake  do not  disclose  your  Will  to  your  children  let  you  be  always  a  giver  rather  then  taker.

Finally, I would like to conclude this article by saying that don’t be self centered if your spouse is not working you need to plan a retired life for him or her also because he or she is the only person who will lend the shoulder to rest your tired head. He or she will be the only person who will wipe your tears for looking a smile on your face, otherwise you will be forced to obey the Sakesphere’s saying “if you laugh the whole world laughs with you, if you weep you weep singly.”

You must see dreams, read the biography of the people who had major achievements after the age of 60 that will give you not only encouragement but motivation to have a beginning for second career.

Author
Prof. Dewakar Goel - A Poet, philosopher, writer and top notch professional in government sector. Dewakar is the only indian from H R discipline as I A T A qualified instructor from geneva switzerland to train airlines personnel across the world
You can also email him: dewakargoel14@gmail.com

 “Happiness is spiritual, born of Truth and Love. It is unselfish; therefore it cannot exist alone, but requires all mankind to share it.” says Mary Baker Eddy.
 
Lets us start with the term sex. Sex is a natural phenomenon of every living creature.

The natural attraction to the opposite sex follows the magnetic laws, whereby a north pole always feels an indomitable attraction for the South Pole.

The extreme satisfaction lies in intercourse where the women orgasm is fulfilled by the ejaculation of a man.   According to Andrea Dworkin, “You think intercourse is a private act; it’s not, it’s a social act. Men are sexually predatory in life; and women are sexually manipulative. When two individuals come together and leave their gender outside the bedroom door, then they make love.” But tell me honestly, how many can really leave the gender outside? The obvious result is a complete dissatisfaction or even a partial one.

The ever-ending innovative mindset of human beings and an ever-increasing emergent frustration have led to a lot of misuse and perversion in several stages of civilization.

Even at times it has become by force, where it looses its enormous joy and makes it bitter like Joanita Kyakuwa describes, “He had sexual intercourse with me by force. I don’t remember how long it took, but he did not use a condom. I was crying and I felt betrayed.”
 
The prosecution has been reformed and legalized in various countries and even modern civilization witnesses male striptease. Nights Clubs have started pulling a lot of crowds by displaying jacuzzi dancing girls even in small cities.

However, the chaotic world gives an elude picture to the young generation and the free globalization at such an early stage of life misleads the objectivity and opens the dark side of sex, where sex is treated as compulsion/ on sale commodity instead of an emotion driven physical relationship, where both the male and the female achieves utmost satisfaction after the closest interaction.

People have started confusing between the state of two extreme pleasures, as stated by Mark Twain, “One of life’s most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life’s least appreciated pleasures in defecation.” However, lets try to find out the ideal satisfaction, you get out of a proper intercourse, where both start floating in the air and the exertion leads to a sound sleep with a romantic body and mind. Lets keep apart the kiss competition, rather let us focus at a kiss, which comes spontaneously among the newly married couples. Let’s concentrate more on true love, where sex may be an integral part, but not the only one. Let’s try to evaluate the power of love.
 
Now when we talk of spiritualism, some people think that sex is an untouchable in the spiritual realm. We not only defer, but also we do feel that this is just a foolish notion of the ignorant people.

We feel sex and spiritualism co-exist; even we want to say one really complements the other. We believe sex is an integral part of love life, where there is a true intermingling of body and soul in true sense.

We must not forget, “Love in its essence is spiritual fire” and that’s the sole reason of treating the relationship between a husband and wife to be sacred all over the world in all civilizations. The reincarnation theory believes that the relationship continues even after the physical death of this term.
 
Here we want to furnish a famous quote of St. Francis de, “Marital intercourse is certainly holy, lawful and praiseworthy in itself and profitable to society, yet in certain circumstances it can prove dangerous, as when through excess the soul is made sick with venial sin, or through the violation and perversion of its primary end, killed by mortal sin; such perversion, detestable in proportion to its departure from the true order, being always mortal sin, for it is never lawful to exclude the primary end of marriage which is the procreation of children.”
 
Everybody knows that fire gets created only when two particles get engaged in friction. We all know the energy level of fire, which can destroy any and every element of this mortal world.

We also know that a new baby is born out of intercourse, which also demands a lot of energy. As per the rule of the law, an energy can only lead to another dynamic energy, may be in a much more magnified form.

We have seen the devastating effect of Tsunami, which has been also created through the friction of two iron plates beneath the sea. Science has proved that the combination of two dynamic energies can create an impulsive force, which may become 100 times more powerful than the constituent energy particles. We all know the subdued energy level of Uranium. If we carefully look back, we will surely find a lot of evidences, wherein friction has led to creativity. Most importantly Franklin D. Roosevelt observes rightly, “Physical strength can never permanently withstand the impact of spiritual force.”
 
 
If anybody is interested in the spiritual world, he will find that when your internal energy level starts floating, there is an obvious friction at every stage to reach the top, the Brahma Chakra.

Any spiritual climb entails a calm mind that you also achieve from a balanced sexual interaction, where all bubbles of excitement find a final rest, which is really calm and quiet.

If you compare with the spiritual world, most distractions occur at an early stage, where your excitements tries their best to divulge you from your ultimate aim and finally you are set to achieve your goal only when the bubbles find a calm period. Anais Nin says, “Electric flesh-arrows… traversing the body. A rainbow of color strikes the eyelids. A foam of music falls over the ears. It is the gong of the orgasm.”

The spiritual gurus pronounce the same to express the romantic state of body and mind during the spiritual growth.

Anybody, who has been engaged in intercourse, he can notice the initial distraction and diversions even in the beginning. A lot of nurture may be required for a focused intercourse. Alexander Pope describes it nicely, “Speed the soft intercourse from soul to soul,/ And waft a sigh from Indus to the Pole.” When the inner energy level scales upwards then your spinal cord also aches at certain points. With passing time, the frequency of having intercourse increases, to attain more satisfaction. Once the energy level starts flowing, you also feel an inner urge to speed it up.

With ejaculation during intercourse you are at complete rest in body and mind; similarly the growth of the inner energy to a level gives you also the peace of mind, as if you have reached your target.

If we talk of diversions in both the world, mythology describes Maneka and Urvashi at work as distracting catalysts for the meditating Lords.

Its also equally tough to restrain yourself from the cabaret girls, when she starts opening up like the shedding petals of a flower at full bloom which works as a strong ingredient to distract one from a normal healthy sex life.

Joseph Campbell finds an unique relationship between marriage and spiritual world, “When people get married because they think it’s a long-time love affair, they’ll be divorced very soon, because all love affairs end in disappointment. But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity.” As sex in a healthy marriage relationship becomes endless (excluding biological constraints), the dreaded interest to achieve the final stage also becomes endless, when you try to come back with a solace, “Ok, next time”.

Remember, neither you can leave a half-done sex, or spiritual attainment.

It will be as if, “He was successful in removing her clothes but he was unsuccessful in his attempt to have sexual intercourse with her, and then he told her to run away, so she did.” - Bruce Williamson.
 

One point has to be kept in mind that usage of artificial elements in both the cases reduces the magnitude of pleasure.

During the spiritual development, if one takes artificial help like a black box or iron chair, the result can be even a catastrophe. The similar way Kim Miller cites an example, “When condoms were used at first intercourse, the adolescent was 20 times more likely to use condoms at their next intercourse and continually through their sexual experiences.”
 
Don’t you believe in spirituality? Answer this simple question. “Who has ever seen an idea? Who has ever seen love? Who has ever seen faith?” I will make it simpler for you. The answer is, “The real things in the world are the invisible spiritual realities”.
 

Lets try to furnish a highly similar behavior. Scientists have agreed that kiss works a stress reliever, so as meditation. It is needless to mention that kiss is a very close step in the pre-sexual stage and meditation is the first step towards spiritualization – which is a widely accepted norm.

We don’t have any intention of raising a debate. Rather we want to draw certain analogies to prove that spiritual growth and sexual relationship – both converge at one level, which is peace of body of mind and both of them follows the basic laws – friction leads to creativity. We want to reiterate Mark Twain, “Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.”
 
We will conclude with a famous quote of Saint Augustine, “God does not give heed to the ambitiousness of our prayers, because he is always ready to give to us his light, not a visible light but an intellectual and spiritual one; but we are not always ready to receive it when we turn aside and down to other”

This article has been originally published in http://article.knowledgemart.org/articles/article-20.html

A major chunk of people of West Bengal, India feels that the intrution of politics in the education segment has yielded a drastic downfall in the education system itself.

We have found an exception, where political leaders and educationists have joined hands together towards an overall growth of the society. Arambagh is a classic example.

Arambagh is a sub-divisional town in West Bengal. Its a place which has been glorified with many stalwarts of the past. The traditional culture of Arambagh  fueled by the contemporary education system have enabled the place to draw attention of people of the whole country.

Netaji Mahavidyala, Arambagh has achieved a commandable B++ grade in NAAC accreditation process and has been continuously working towards the goal of socio-economic development of the students and the community. Arambagh Girls’ College has become an ideal learning environment for the local girls. There are several schools, which have shown respectable performances in the recent years.

The Sub division had been lacking an organisation to shelter the handicapped people and finally Arambagh Vivekananda Handicapped Organization has been established and it has successfully completed its 5th anniversary.

They have opened up a school also, which has been blessed with visits of several government officials inclusing the higher education and Chief minister.

Arambagh, like most of the other suburban places of West Bengal had been lacking a good English Medium school to make a social upliftment for the kids and enable them job worthy in this competitive world. Arambagh Vivekananda Central School has been formed and its gorgeus inaugaration is awaiting in February, 2008.

If one looks at the composition of the governing committee of the Arambagh Vivekananda Central School, they will find a perfect mix of political leaders and educationist. Mr. Anil Basu, the MP, Mr. Binoy Dutta, the MLA and Mr. Asim Kumar De, the principal of Netaji Mahavidyalaya, all are working towards the same goal, the growth of the local community. When Dr. De was asked, why an English medium school? His answer had been straight enough, ‘ English is a must to make the students employable’.

We have noticed the active participation of MLA and MP in the past for the college and the handicapped institute.

We have even seen an MLA to spend sustainable time to the nitty gritty like a college presentation and to provide comments, leaving his all other assignments. We have heard that the MP is even interested in the look and feel of every corner of the school building.

Mr. Asim Kr. De has got one point agenda, no student of Arambagh should leave Arambagh for dirth of quality of education in Arambagh.

So, in conclusion, if politics blends in education keeping a clear goal in front, it’s not a boon, rather a blessing to the society.